


My Brother, The Monster

by myaekingheart



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Temari centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29624649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myaekingheart/pseuds/myaekingheart
Summary: Temari never asked for a brother who could kill her. She never asked for the emotional baggage that came with it. But somehow she always managed. She didn't know how, but she did.
Relationships: Gaara & Kankurou & Temari
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	My Brother, The Monster

**Author's Note:**

> I have, like, zero experience writing for any of the Sand siblings but honestly, after watching Temari's reactions to Gaara's outbursts with Shukaku during the Chunin exams, I felt super compelled to dive a little deeper into the anxiety and fear she must have always felt growing up with a brother like Gaara. May not be 100% canon compliant since I just kinda sat and let the words flow.

Temari was five years old when she first saw it happen. A naïve little girl, behind their father’s back she scolded Gaara for being fussy with his blocks. He was so small and stupid, she assumed he would be easy to parent. At first, there was the crying. Loud, earsplitting wails that echoed down the hallways and immediately alerted the Kazekage that something was seriously wrong. And then he began to crack. Literally.

Temari recoiled, her heart racing in her chest as she watched baby brother evolve. Pieces of his face fell off in shards like broken porcelain and out from the gaps sprouted _that thing_. The monster inside of him. It’s one golden eye, raw and enraged, locked onto her with a malice she had scarcely ever seen before. She could feel her heart beating out of her chest, her hands growing clammy and numb. She tried to call for help but the words tangled and choked at the back of her throat. She was completely helpless.

For weeks, it haunted her dreams, that horrific vision. She’d lay in bed at night trembling of the thought, thinking that at any moment her baby brother could completely obliterate her. When she closed her eyes, she saw it’s face staring back at her. If she let herself grow too close to sleep, it’s roar would snap her right back into consciousness.

Gaara was a fussy child. He had a heart full of pain and loneliness. Despite her better judgment, Temari had attempted to reach out multiple times. She didn’t want to afraid of him. After all, they were family. What was the point in fearing family? But Gaara never wanted anything to do with her anyway. He ached for love and yet he pushed her away every chance he got. In a way, he even seethed with hate for her. He seethed with hate for damn near everyone. He was so full of anger and heartbreak and rage.

She was nine years old when she came to terms with what her brother was. They never spoke of it like a real problem. It was always only ever _the monster_ , or _that thing._ Kankuro shoved it deep within himself, tried to never let it bother him. Temari only wished she had the luxury. She was the oldest. She was the leader. She was responsible for her brothers no matter what. Should something happen to them, and on her watch…she would never forgive herself. And as the woman of the house, damn did she have so many responsibilities. Responsibilities she didn’t feel mature enough for. She didn’t feel ready for. She almost wished she, too, had been born a boy so that perhaps she could avoid the crushing weight of these priorities. Yet at the same time, she knew she could never. She had matured into her role, it had become a part of her. Without her to watch over them, the whole family would fall apart. That still didn’t make things any easier.

The night before they left for Konoha, for the chunin exams, Temari sat on the edge of her bed and looked up at the dusty desert sky. The moonlight filtered through the wispy clouds overhead, an unusually clear night for this time of year. She thought of her mother. She wondered what she would do at a time like this. Temari was faced with so much uncertainty, with a mission she wasn’t sure she could manage to fulfill. Time and time again, she was always handed tasks that always felt too big, too heavy for her to handle. She wished her mother were here. More than anything, she wished she could curl up in Karura’s lap and have her pet her hair and sing her to sleep. Just like when she was young, back when Kankuro and Gaara were mere thoughts in the back of her parents’ minds. When things were simple. When she didn’t know that her father intended to make any one of them the jinchuriki should they be compatible. That thought always made Temari sick. To think that she had narrowly avoided becoming a monster like her brother. That she, too, could’ve been riddled with unbridled rage, a demon constantly thrashing against the walls of her psyche. Desperate to kill.

Temari shoved the thoughts squarely out of her mind. Now was not the time. She had a big day ahead of her. She only hoped that she could handle this. But then again, despite the uncertainty and the panic, she always did. She didn’t know how, but she always did.


End file.
